Don’t Panic Radio Show header image 1

Don’t Panic Radio Show

15
Oct

DP E140 - Tits and Dragons Episode 1

00:0000:00

"Between the carefree time of grade school, and the awkward years of high school, there was the age undreamed of, the age of the Lord of the Flies, the junior high years, its only respite for some, testosterone-fueled fantasy role-playing games. And onto this, Sally of Vallis, destined to wear the Leg Warmers of Valor into battle. It is I, her Game Master, who alone can tell thee of her saga. Let me tell you of the days of Tits & Dragons!"

Here it is, dear listeners, the episode you've been waiting for. As your hosts work feverishly to prepare this year's Halloween episode, which promises to be the best one yet, they took some time off to record the first installation of Tits & Dragons. Listen in as Paul takes Steve on an epic journey in the vein of the halcyon days of role-playing games like Dungeons & Dragons, where bikini chainmail, a pair of leg warmers and a mighty sword were all a hot warrior chick needed to swath a bloody path into legend...
11
Oct

DP E139 - Natural Super Computer

00:0000:00

Paul and Steve start this week innocently enough talking about their weekend shenanigans. Paul's hilarious mom. Steve's prolific uncle. Then something reminds them of the urgent call of nature and the wheels come off the bus. This episode's potty humor will have you doubled over in laughter like a man trying to make it to a bathroom stall in a busy mall. Be sure and acquaint yourself with the nearest working toilet before listening to this one. Keep in mind that the nearest bathroom may be behind you - or in a ditch by the side of the road. Paul and Steve sincerely apologize for this one and promise to be better in the future. Go ahead and share it anyway...

4
Oct

DP E138 - Perfectly Normal Perfectly Healthy

00:0000:00

The secret Milennials know that we all should learn. How to finally get control of your drinking without AA and without having to quit. What's more natural than Indians? What's more funny than lipstick lesbian Indians? Or butch lesbian Indians? Harly Quinn from the comic books or Harly Quinn from Suicide Squad? Wait for them to ask you who you know. And MP Cavalier will be missed. There's a little something for each and every one of you this week. Give a little love and rate us on itunes. Share the link. Like, love, repeat.

27
Sep

DP E137 - White Pride is Not a Thing

00:0000:00

This was just one of those episodes.  After a rocky start, Steve has what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity concerning a very touchy subject - race in America.  In the last half of the show, Steve and Paul announce future plans for episodes of Tits & Dragons, and Steve reads a tell-all letter from Paul from their distant, sordid past.​

19
Sep

DP E136 - Enter The Beast

00:0000:00

Elon Musk has created the real-life version of the Mammoth Car from Speed Racer. Only he's calling it The Beast. Another hurricane, inconveniently scheduled. The Apocalypse is due any day now. But don't panic. Paul and Steve will talk you down from that ledge. Even though Steve in in an altered state of mind and Paul can't stop wondering what prison is like in a failed state. Listen. Subscribe. Share. Repeat...

3
Sep

DP E135 - Exclusive GoT Spoilers

00:0000:00

Does your dad watch Fox News and Gunsmoke? Do you? What if they tore down the Constitution Elm in Corydon, IN, because, you know, history? Not long into this week's episode, your hosts realize it had taken on a life of it's own, from Steve's recap of his road trip with his dad and brother, to Paul's trying to figure out what gender Hurricane Harvey identifies with, nothing was off limits.  Also on this episode, Steve and Paul reveal Game of Thrones spoilers you will not hear anyplace else, White people on the bus, and the Wilhelm scream.  

27
Aug

DP E134 - The Future and Other Improbabilities

00:0000:00
As your hosts struggle with microphone issues this episode, they contemplate the future of technology.  Will the future be what it used to be?  And what about the next solar eclipse seven years from now?  Will it rival the original, or suffer the sophomore jinx?  Also, what has Conservatives so confused about prayer?  With so many of the Don't Panic Radio Show's usual antics missing from this week's episode, listen in on the inaugural game of Headline, Facebook Post, or Beck Lyric!  The lottery, you have to play to win, or do you...?  And finally, why doesn't anyone ever speak of the day to day scientific benefits resulting from zero-gravity pen technology?
Thanks for listening. Please subscribe and share.
22
Aug

DP E133 - How to Get Rich Using Your Pets

00:0000:00

What did Genghis Khan and Wilt Chamberlain have in common?  Do German Shepherds bark in German?  What the hell do they call Siamese twins in Siam, anyway?!  Are cartoon animals with pets racist?  The answers to these questions and more can be found on this week's episode of the Don't Panic Radio Show!  Also this week, your hosts discuss Andy Wright's serial podcast, The Worlds of Mebar. Paul donates plasma, and Steve contemplates donating other bodily fluids.   That's right, it's one of those episodes, folks.  As usual, thanks for listening, and remember: nothing you heard was true.

15
Aug

DP E132 - Prep School

00:0000:00

This week, while you were being distracted by Korean War Two: Electric Boogaloo, your friends at the Don't Panic Radio show tackled the heavy issues: Home schooling, it's not just for Flat Earth Preppers anymore.  Or is it?  Is Star Wars racist?  Paul reviews Atomic Blonde, and it's a thermonuclear dud!  Steve reviews Boss Baby, and how it's okay for a butch lesbian to cry.  Plus, Irresponsible Headline Interpretations!  And how did The Man get hold of the Internet?

7
Aug

DP E131 - Sweet Momma

00:0000:00

What to do when you're stuck on a plane. Especially if it smells like feet, Doritos, and ass. Call 911 and tell them about the evils of high fructose corn syrup, the corporate takeover of America, and the secret of the Revolution (hint: take a page out of the anti-tobacco freedom fighters). Believe it or not, Paul and Steve cover these themes and Paul manages to go on an epic anti-processed food rant. Then they fill the second half with headlines - human embryo editing, why Stephen King is way over-rated, and why Charlize Theron is a better African American actress than Halle Berry. Steve includes the bonus headline that expresses shock that a 45 year-old woman has a hot body.