Podcasts

DP E138 - Perfectly Normal Perfectly Healthy

The secret Milennials know that we all should learn. How to finally get control of your drinking without AA and without having to quit. What's more natural than Indians? What's more funny than lipstick lesbian Indians? Or butch lesbian Indians? Harly Quinn from the comic books or Harly Quinn from Suicide Squad? Wait for them to ask you who you know. And MP Cavalier will be missed. There's a little something for each and every one of you this week. Give a little love and rate us on itunes. Share the link. Like, love, repeat.

DP E137 - White Pride is Not a Thing

This was just one of those episodes.  After a rocky start, Steve has what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity concerning a very touchy subject - race in America.  In the last half of the show, Steve and Paul announce future plans for episodes of Tits & Dragons, and Steve reads a tell-all letter from Paul from their distant, sordid past.​

DP E136 - Enter The Beast

Elon Musk has created the real-life version of the Mammoth Car from Speed Racer. Only he's calling it The Beast. Another hurricane, inconveniently scheduled. The Apocalypse is due any day now. But don't panic. Paul and Steve will talk you down from that ledge. Even though Steve in in an altered state of mind and Paul can't stop wondering what prison is like in a failed state. Listen. Subscribe. Share. Repeat...

DP E135 - Exclusive GoT Spoilers

Does your dad watch Fox News and Gunsmoke? Do you? What if they tore down the Constitution Elm in Corydon, IN, because, you know, history? Not long into this week's episode, your hosts realize it had taken on a life of it's own, from Steve's recap of his road trip with his dad and brother, to Paul's trying to figure out what gender Hurricane Harvey identifies with, nothing was off limits.  Also on this episode, Steve and Paul reveal Game of Thrones spoilers you will not hear anyplace else, White people on the bus, and the Wilhelm scream.  

DP E134 - The Future and Other Improbabilities

As your hosts struggle with microphone issues this episode, they contemplate the future of technology.  Will the future be what it used to be?  And what about the next solar eclipse seven years from now?  Will it rival the original, or suffer the sophomore jinx?  Also, what has Conservatives so confused about prayer?  With so many of the Don't Panic Radio Show's usual antics missing from this week's episode, listen in on the inaugural game of Headline, Facebook Post, or Beck Lyric!  The lottery, you have to play to win, or do you...?  And finally, why doesn't anyone ever speak of the day to day scientific benefits resulting from zero-gravity pen technology?

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DP E133 - How to Get Rich Using Your Pets

What did Genghis Khan and Wilt Chamberlain have in common?  Do German Shepherds bark in German?  What the hell do they call Siamese twins in Siam, anyway?!  Are cartoon animals with pets racist?  The answers to these questions and more can be found on this week's episode of the Don't Panic Radio Show!  Also this week, your hosts discuss Andy Wright's serial podcast, The Worlds of Mebar. Paul donates plasma, and Steve contemplates donating other bodily fluids.   That's right, it's one of those episodes, folks.  As usual, thanks for listening, and remember: nothing you heard was true.

DP E132 - Prep School

This week, while you were being distracted by Korean War Two: Electric Boogaloo, your friends at the Don't Panic Radio show tackled the heavy issues: Home schooling, it's not just for Flat Earth Preppers anymore.  Or is it?  Is Star Wars racist?  Paul reviews Atomic Blonde, and it's a thermonuclear dud!  Steve reviews Boss Baby, and how it's okay for a butch lesbian to cry.  Plus, Irresponsible Headline Interpretations!  And how did The Man get hold of the Internet?

DP E131 - Sweet Momma

What to do when you're stuck on a plane. Especially if it smells like feet, Doritos, and ass. Call 911 and tell them about the evils of high fructose corn syrup, the corporate takeover of America, and the secret of the Revolution (hint: take a page out of the anti-tobacco freedom fighters). Believe it or not, Paul and Steve cover these themes and Paul manages to go on an epic anti-processed food rant. Then they fill the second half with headlines - human embryo editing, why Stephen King is way over-rated, and why Charlize Theron is a better African American actress than Halle Berry. Steve includes the bonus headline that expresses shock that a 45 year-old woman has a hot body.

DP E130 - Why your Mom was Wrong

That's right, dear listeners​​, your humble hosts hate to break it to you, but everything your mom told you was a lie.  Your politeness is killing people, from bicycle crossings to dating, Steve and Paul try to help clear a few things up.  And if they can't, the 130,000 Year Old Mastodon will!  Also in this episode, everything from how Steve is going to make a career for a psychiatrist one day, to a one-armed clown with a machete, as well as a Facebook Question of the Week, and Irresponsible Headline Interpretations!  And, remember, nothing you hear is true!

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DP E129 - Fanfare for the Common Merdog

Je suis Basil. Few things are more dear to humans than their pets. When Basil, Steve's miniature pinscher ate a crazy expanding mermaid, his family had only minutes to decide whether to wait for the 8" high dog to become an 18" long merdog or pay a butt-ton of money to have the offending sea creature removed. Get the full story this week. Plus a preview of a new professional podcast from Don't Panic Studios, including the search for the perfect theme song. Listen Like Share Repeat.